Welcome to my blog. If you are reading this in 2023, you are one of the first people to discover me. I am glad you did. This is my first blog post. Now that you are here, continue reading and I promise you will know me a little more and what I intend to do with this blog.
2021 – 6 months into the PhD and the year is full of discoveries!
This was the time I was discovering myself and still coming to terms with the big commitment I took on. I had this constant feeling of not being able to let my creative writing energy out other than through writing manuscripts and grants. YES, scientific writing needs creativity too, believe it or not.
Now, if you read my bio, you know I am an overthinker. That came in handy here because I started searching about blogs and ways that I can begin my blogging journey. In no time, I was taking an online blogging course. I felt the adrenaline rush to do something, to start blogging, and I already built a 5-year plan in my mind.
Fine, I will admit that I always build a plan for the next five or ten years in my mind for almost everything. Sometimes, it works out and sometimes it doesn’t, for the better. Even though I completed the online course and was ready to embark on my dream of blogging, I hesitated. There was an important piece missing. I didn’t know what to write about exactly. This was the time to think hard on what I can offer, take the leap of faith and leave the rest to destiny. That’s where many of us would stop and overthink (I know that it’s not just me!).
Weeks passed and so did the motivation and adrenaline rush. I felt as if I have nothing to share or offer and I went back to my mundane routine and the dream was overlooked and kept away on a shelf waiting for that one “perfect day” when I would have time to pursue it. We are reminded repeatedly not to wait for that perfect day and that the time for action is now, but my mind convinced me otherwise.
2022 – 2 years into PhD and ambitions are flying high!
It is 2022 and I have found my footing into the program and embracing my journey for the most part. I got to attend a conference in Phoenix where I met PhD students from all over the world. You name the country, and someone was there. I was SO EXCITED by the diversity and the plethora of information. During a workshop, there were fun ice-breaking activities in small groups. I made new connections, heard fellow students’ stories, insecurities, fears, and shared mine.
Although our lives were very different from one another, one common thread connecting us was that we were in the same “PhD boat”. A reason enough to relate to each other. To my surprise, most people in the room, regardless of their field of research, felt the same things that I did, came across similar challenges that I did, and had similar insecurities that I did.
During one such conversation, we offered suggestions to each other to handle challenges. While I shared mine, other students listened, and they wanted more. I clearly remember one of the students insisting me to start something online where we can connect and motivate each other. Some of them felt motivated by what I said at the time, that intrigued me. I did a lot of thinking about why that was the case.
Why did I have tips and tricks to offer and why they were lost? I realized that for the first year of my PhD, I lived alone in a loft apartment and started the program amidst Covid-19. It was scary and lonely. I couldn’t go home for a long time, and since I was new to the city, I didn’t have friends yet.
So, after questioning a thousand times why I was in that situation, I felt the need to create tools around me to keep me self-motivated. Those were the tools I shared with the students that day and I like to believe that they took something useful home. I felt a sense of satisfaction and gratitude, and my heart wanted more of it. Why? Because I love helping, I get that from both my parents, I guess.
A quick detour from the story!
I enjoy deep conversations, do a lot of self-reflection, and believe that one can always learn something from most conversations (at least I try to). I also love serving and being helpful to people around me. During the process of discovering myself, I found out that I am good at solving other people’s problems and offering different perspectives (wish I could say the same for my own problems).
It has taken some effort to even recognize and say this out loud because I am a “forgiving for other people but too critical towards myself” kind of person. PhD has taught me many things and one among them is identifying my strengths and improving it further. This led me to blend my learnings as a PhD student with my passion of writing, hence the blog.
Back to the conference in Phoenix
As the conference concluded, I was again in a dilemma. I felt the same rush of channeling my writing abilities. But, this time, it was even stronger as I found my purpose, the topic I want to write about. I came back from the conference with high motivation to change the world (overthinking, if you forgot). But, the universe had other plans. I had a huge crisis in my personal life. It was like everything came to a standstill and I was absorbed by the emotions I was experiencing. It took me a couple months, but everything came back to normal. That dream project though, was put aside once again.
Only, this time I couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like if I had taken that leap of faith? What if it worked? What if I succeed in connecting PhD students worldwide who can help each other? But wait, what if this is too good to be true? What if it fails completely, and no one is relating to my experience? What would people think about my failure?
So many more “what if” questions constantly ran through my mind. Some days, I would feel motivated enough to take a step further. Other times, I would feel that it is not the right time convincing myself to wait for that “perfect day”. I promise the story ends with me starting a blog :), hang in there!
2023 – 3 years into PhD and the rollercoaster of dilemma comes to an end!
After the pandemic, as the world goes back to normal, I feel happy but something is still lacking. The blog that I promised myself I would start has not happened yet. This time, I approached it a little differently. Instead of going in a wormhole of blogging 101, I took a step back and looked for simpler approaches to avoid feeling overwhelmed. I decided to gather some knowledge and read the first 50 pages of Simple Business by Lucy Fuggle.
I am not a reader, which might be a surprise to some of you because my profession demands a lot of reading. It’s almost as if there is so much reading as part of my work that I associate reading with studying. Anyways, I read the first half of it, suddenly felt sorted, all thanks to Lucy. This book came into my life casually and helped me take this leap of faith in literally a few weeks. While I finished reading the rest of the book, I couldn’t wait to start writing finally.
Third time is the charm!
Here I am, pouring my thoughts out, beginning a new journey. I intend to put my experiences out there, share helpful tools, and hope that it helps fellow passengers in the “PhD boat”. Even if it helps one person, that will mean that I did my part. When I started out, I felt the need to talk to someone outside my university and those opportunities were very limited.
So, I want to offer that space to YOU and create a platform where PhD students from all over the world can read, connect, have conversations, offer practical solutions, and carry their peers along the journey.
I hope you got to know me and what I intend to do with this platform a little more. You guessed it right. My mind is on a hyperdrive thinking about things I want to talk about and create and share and what not, but I will put them all to rest for now. I appreciate you being here, reading it all the way through, and I hope you continue to read and connect and just get something out of it.
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